Everyday sexism #1

I think I may be becoming more rabid as I get older. Or perhaps militant is the right word. I find myself increasingly intolerant of minor incidences of sexism that in the past would have glided past me without raising more than a rueful shrug. I was not someone who felt the need to change "human" to "hu-woman" or any other such mutilation of the language. I'm still not. And yet, I find myself now noticing more frequently the entrenched way in which the world is male-by-default. And I find myself less willing to sit back and say nothing.

I have been interviewing people recently for a job as a physicist (and the degree to which I don't enjoy interviewing could be the subject of another post). In the end, we narrowed it down to four candidates, chose one, and I had to write and say, "thanks, but no thanks" to the remaining three. Not something I enjoyed doing either. And since they were all good candidates, I tried to make sure that they knew that. Here's a snippet of what I wrote to one candidate...

Unfortunately, I regret to have to tell you that we are offering the position to another applicant. Part of the reason for the delay in giving you a proper reply has been that the final decision has been very difficult, as all the candidates offered different qualities. We were all impressed with your intelligence and abilities, and there was no question that you would have been able to do the job, so please don't feel that this is a reflection on your skills.

Which I didn't think was particularly controversial. And the candidate in question, who I admit is not a native English-speaker, replied:

Thank you for the quick reply even though it wasn't what I was hoping to hear. My compliments to the other gentleman.

The other gentleman.

Gentleman.

Man.

I never said the successful candidate was a man.

And yet he assumed.

No, it's not a big deal. No, it's not the end of the world. Yes, statistically, most physicists are men, so it wasn't a completely unreasonable assumption. But it was an assumption that he didn't need to make. There are plenty of gender-neutral terms he could have used, as I did. But no. Physicists are men. It's just another brick in the wall of male-by-default. And I'm sick of it. I'm sick of the constant assumptions and presumptions. I'm sick of a world where being me needs an explanation.