We have a couple of episodes of Match of the Day recorded, and LittleBear likes to watch and re-watch them, warning me in advance for example that Hazard will score first in Chelsea's 5-0 drubbing of Everton. Because he seems confident that I haven't been paying attention on the previous thirteen viewings. And he's right. I use Match of the Day as a good excuse to drink a cup of tea and read my book. And I can do a fairly convincing "oooh, really?" while doing so.
The next step from gazing, rapt, at highlights of real matches is obviously to not only re-enact them ourselves, but to act out matches with even better results.
So I present to you a match played between Burnley and Manchester United at Old Trafford**. Due to limited resources, both sides played reduced strength sides.
|Tom Heaton, Andre Grey and Sam Vokes for Burnley|
|David De Gea, Wayne Rooney and Zlatan Ibrahimovic for United|
I think we can all agree that the resemblance to their flesh and blood counterparts is astonishing:
And I'm delighted to report that Burnley beat Manchester United 10-1.***
I'm not entirely sure that a life supporting Burnley is going to sit well with a desperate need to see his side win all the time. On the other hand, it's possible that following Burnley will help remove his expectation of victory and thus be a Good Thing overall.
* I think I failed to mention LittleBear's fifth birthday last week. We could now open a Lego shop.
** A note for my foreign readers. The sport in question is soccer, dear to the heart of many Englishmen, and particularly the one I married. Old Trafford is the home ground of Manchester United, until recently the dominant team in English football.
*** For the record, since 1968, Burnley have only beaten Manchester United once, and that was 1-0. LittleBear's imagination and aspirations are nothing if not impressive.