Random statements from my son...

I seem to lack the energy, impetus, intellect or general oomph to string together a coherent post, so instead, today you can receive a random list of "thing LittleBear has said recently"

• "Mummy? Is ten and eight eighteen?" ... <pause while Mummy verifies the truth of this> ... "Mummy? Are three fives fifteen?" ... <pause while Mummy is slightly dumbfounded>

• On pursuing the above I discovered that, "I was thinking about it at nursery and worked it out in my head. Two fives are ten, and then ten and another five is fifteen". Holy shit, he's turning into me...

• On playing with his new dinosaur (Carcharadontosaurus, since you ask) who, being new, is infinitely more powerful, terrifying and impressive than any other dinosaur ever. "He is fighting with T. rex over a dead Stegosaurus that they've found, but T. rex is not as well adapted to this environment." Because, yes, that's a perfectly normal vocabulary for a four year old, and I am in no way allowing him to watch age-inappropriate wildlife documentaries or dinosaur programs.

• "The gorilla is my least favourite great ape". No, I don't know what the gorilla ever did wrong. I think they're pretty awesome, personally.

• "I want to wear my big swimming costume, not my swimming shorts, because I don't want the others to see my tummy, because it's too beautiful." Which is perhaps one of the most adorable things I can think of at the moment. Obviously I take every opportunity to snuzzle his tummy and tell him he's beautiful, but I love the fact that he now thinks his tummy is too beautiful for the world to be allowed to see.

• On being told that he would be able to reach the window handle only when he was old enough to be allowed to open windows, as by then he would have grown tall enough, "I will never  be able to reach. I'm not going to grow taller, I'm only going to grow wider!"

• On being told that Mummy was talking to Daddy, "But you're wasting playing time!" Because that's what life is when you're 4. Playing time that is unreasonably interrupted by your parents wanting to talk about boring shit like mouldy walls or leaking pipes.

• On rushing into our bedroom first thing on Tuesday morning, ready to get up, "Mummy! Don't forget to buy bin bags today!" I know I asked him to remind me, but I didn't really mean at 7am, before even saying "Good Morning". Can't say he's not trying to help though.

That's all I've got for today. Happy Saturday everyone.