Monday, 21 September 2015

A bit less than a penguin

And now for some snippets of conversations with my son...

Me: I love you more than anything in the whole world
LB: I love you.... a bit less than I love penguins. Or sometimes a bit more.
Me: Oh. Thank you. Well, I love you anyway

LB: Do you love me more than... you love yourself? (I see a future in pulp self-help books ahead)
Me: Hmmm... (I can't believe I'm actually seriously considering which answer will be less psychologically harmful at this point) I think I love you more. If something terrible were happening, I would definitely try and make sure you were safe even if it meant I got hurt. So, I think I love you more than I love myself.
LB: If there were a cannon at the window there?
Me: I'd definitely get you out of the way of a cannon.
LB: Even if the cannon... knocked your head off!
Me: Ah... that's not very nice is it?

Me: Do you like asparagus at the moment? We haven't had it for a while.
LB: I like it and I don't like it.
Me: Right. Well, should I buy some?
LB: You should buy some and not buy some. (Gee, thanks for that, Schroedinger.)

Me: What have we forgotten LittleBear?
LB: Tooth time! Come on Mummy! It's toothbrushing time!
Skipping through the house singing "tooth time, tooth time, yay, yay, yay!"

This last episode is only in any way astonishing, confusing or bewildering in light of LittleBear's usual response to toothbrushing time which generally involves screaming, crying, stamping, wailing and occasionally throwing himself on the floor. Every day. Twice a day. I have absolutely no idea who took my son away and replaced him with one who loves toothbrushing. I'm just hoping the new version hasn't dispensed with one of his more helpful behaviours as a trade-off.

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